Sept. 25 2007

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for,

and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,

for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow.

If you have been opened by life's betrayals,

or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,

without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own.

If you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic,

or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself,

if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own self.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday,

and if you can source your life from God's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,

and still stand on the edge of a lake

and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair,

weary and bruised to the bone,

and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.

I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me

and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself,

and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

March 4 2007

I am a stronger woman because of the things that have happened to me;

I am a stronger woman because of the situations that have shaped me, but also the woman that I am going to be.

I am a stronger woman because of the many hardships that I have seen and have been through;

I am a stronger woman because there are many times I wanted to give up but knew God has more in store for me to do.

I am a stonger woman because I have learned the power of forgiveness and unconditional love;

I am a stronger woman because I have so many guardian angels around me that watch me from up above.

I am a stronger woman because there are times people try to put me down but I still hold my head high;

But most importanly I am a stronger woman because I try to set a better example and won't ever let life pass me by.

...to be continued

Dec. 12 2006

There may come a time, when that which has always worked for you in the past, no longer seems to work...and the familiar paths which you have walked, have now led you to a crossroad, wondering which direction to take. Don't fear that time or place, but take courage. Listen closely to where your heart would lead you, and allow a clear vision to emerge. It may very well be the precise time and place for you to find, and begin to walk in, your true destiny!

I can truly say that I love this saying... I cant believe how quick 2006 has gone and I sit here and reflect on what has happened in my life this past year. It has been a hard year, a challenging year but a year that I can say that I have truly grown.

I have learned about what makes a relationship truly work, I have learned the power of forgiveness, I have learned bout letting the past go, I have learned about what its like to fall in love all over again, I have learned the importance of family, values and goals and my list could go on and on.

Its my second Christmas here in Atlanta and I can tell you its been an amazing experience since I have been here. God keeps giving me constant challenges but I know he only does it to make me grow. There was the time that I had all the familar paths in front of me and than the crossroad did come where I had to make certain changes but also had to look at things in a different view.

I sit and look back at the person that I was years ago to the person that I am now... I will also say that I will never go back to the past...I closed that door and that door will always remained close. I am learning to love me for who I am, and learning that the things that have happened to me have shaped and molded me to the person that I am now.

I have learned to express my feelings whether at times they should be voiced or not...I have learned its not that bad to cry every once in awhile, I also have learned that I need to take those moments for me to take a step back at times and remember its ok to have "MY ME MOMENTS". This is who I am and there is still a part of me that I am striving to be, and I can say that I am pretty close to that person that I want to be.

I am truly truly grateful that I have a man in my life that supports me, that helps me grow as a person and sees the good in me. I am grateful he pushes me to be someone who wants and who will succeed but also keeps me very grounded at the same time. I can say that I love him more than anything in this world and couldnt ask for someone better in my life. God put him in my life at the perfect time...to open my eyes to bigger and better things.

I can also say that I have had amazing girlfriends that I could not ask for better ones. We are all scattered just about everywhere now...Utah, Idaho, Chicago, Washington DC but every one of you still remain a part of my heart and you will never know the impact you have had on my life. They have always reminded me bout the important things in life and for that I thank you all.

Last but not least...Family and how truly important that is to me. I have come from an amazing family one that I was very fortunate to be placed into. I thank God every day for giving me the family that I have and the extended family that have so openly welcomed me into there home here in Atlanta...nothing like southern hospitality :)

Its a year to be truly grateful for the many blessings that I have received, my home, my health, my car, my family and my job. I have learned to listen to my heart and can truly say that I am on the road to my destiny. I am excited for this new year and all the lies ahead. I can say this: It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work, and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.

Sept. 24 2006

This has been lots to think bout as Life Changes and People Change....One of my closest friends wrote something on this end and figured that I would add my comments to it also.

There will always be people in this world and in this lifetime that will always try to break you down, there will always be someone who is prettier than you, who has more money than you do, who is the one who has the big house that you wish you had, the nicer car, the better job and the list could go on and on.

Yes not everything is perfect in this world, there is happiness in marriage and there is divorce, there is people who are able to have children and then there are people who cant, there are people who think they are the world and there are people who think they dont belong in this world.

Let the past be the past and move on with your life...if there is something that is holding you back from true happiness you will never move on within yourself until you learn to forgive and get over it!! Remember most you are not holding anyone back but yourself....keep that in mind. No matter how much you want to blame everyone else for your mistakes in life...its YOU that in the end has to own up to it!

I can say there are people who are going to make you feel inferior, and those are definately the ones who cannot tell you what is right for you. Your life is your life, you make the decisions that are best for you in your life. There will always be haters in this world since most of the time they are jealous of the things that you have but HATERS ARE HATERS and let them live there sorry ass lives.

Dont let anyone try to define who you are...pick yourself up when you are feeling down, tell yourself everyday how important you are in this world and remember how important you are in peoples eyes that matter most to you. Thank God everyday for the blessing that he gives you and thank him for letting you live one more day.

Remember what your goals and dreams are in this life...Have people around you that lift you up and not bring your down, Remember to tell that special person everyday your love them, Remember to tell your best friend thanks for everything and for being there :), and most importantly....."Don't dwell on past mistakes, failures or lost opportunities. Put the past behind you once and for all...learn from it and move on! "

And last but not least....You cannot finish a book without closing it's chapters. If you want to go on, then you have to leave your past as you turn the pages of life. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things YOU WANT TO DO!!!

Aug. 30 2006

Life changes....and then hopefully YOU grow up!!

Well the house is finally quiet, the kids are in bed asleep and I finally have some quiet time to myself where I can sit down and write. There has been so much going on around me that I had to take a step back and take a deep breath in and let it all go and I mean all go. :)

The last month I have learned so much about myself that sometimes its scary. I have been in a place that my feelings are so real that I have not been able for once to run away from them. I can truly say that I know who I am once again. I think for awhile I lost who I was not completely lost me but did not always put myself first in the things that I have truly wanted. As much as I can say I have truly been blessed this past year 1/2 now this is the year that its MY turn to receive what I truly want and nothing is going to hold me back.

No I am far from perfect and I can say that I have made mistakes just like everyone else has but that is what makes me who I am...I can say that I am not yet the woman that I want to be but I am getting so close and its about damn time!!...When I left Utah I left the DRAMA and the PAST behind me as I was about to start a whole new life. Only very few selected people who I still remain close to know exactly what I mean and who I am.

I can say that I have seen tru colors of people, people who pretend that they are your friends when really they are doing things behind your back that no friend would EVER do..and they wonder why there relationships arent perfect I can say kharma is a bitch and I will leave it at that. We live and we learn and I can say the people who are no longer a part of my life are for many reasons either you brought drama to my life, you are drama or you plain lied and deceived me. I dont have the time nor energy for that anymore.

I can say also especially the last couple of weeks I have learned to appreciate my mom so much more and all that she did for me. Its been an interesting last month and I will also say that I have learned to appreciate someone else just a tad bit for all that she does since in someways she did do it alone. I know who she is and thats all that matters.

I am never going to change the person that I am for anybody. I know who I am and I know what I want to become. Its time for a change and I can say its about damn time!! Like I said before Life Happens, Life Changes and hopefully YOU GROW UP!!